Obtaining a Copy of Housewives' Choice
A few people have asked me to make a copy of the music for them. I have a particular interest in copyright law, and so if you think it morally right for this song to be freely copied, then contact your MP, asking him to change copyright law along the lines suggested by The Pirate Party. When copyright law has been suitably reformed (or abolished), then I'll be happy to give out copies to strangers :-)
However, if you like the copyright laws as they stand, then I suggest you look for a 2nd hand copy of the 7" single. I obtained a copy from GEMM. GEMM isn't a shop, it acts as a middle man; getting buyers and sellers together (a bit like e-bay without the bidding).
If you just want to remind yourself of what the tune was like, and perhaps sing along, then shoot over to George Pollens's Web Page, where you can download a midi version of the tune.
Here's the lyrics. Please Contact me if you find any mistakes.
Darn the socks and wash the crocks and polish up the letter box And ask the doc to come and look at Tommy, It's honestly enough to drive you barmy 'Specially when you husbands in the army - blimey Feed the cat and beat the mat and write a note to Auntie Pat To thank her very kindly for the mincer She sent it all the ruddy way from Windsor Shame we've 'ad a mincer since before the war So who would be a housewife, it's lower than a mouse life It's enough to make you run away to sea The world is not my oyster I'm living in a cloister I'm unable to be me Free to put me feet up, and turn the blessed heat up Well I tell you ladies, that will be the day The weather's always freezing, I've done my flaming knees in Putting polish on the parlour parquet Queue for ages in the street, to try to buy a piece of meat To give the kids a little treat for dinner When all I'll probably get from Mr Skinner Is something like a nasty tin of pilchards, liver What's the latest fashion look, and where 've I put me ration book Perhaps I should be rash and cook a pancake But tea's about the only thing I can make I'm sure I've drunk enough of the stuff to drop down dead. What a relief to turn the wireless on... ... at just after nine, There's a favourite of mine It's a beautiful, musical revalry You can hear the latest fling recorded by Crosby Or that fairy sugar dancing thing by Tchaikovsky There's a song about flees And another called "Trees" And there's Victor Sylvester and Webster Booth So now if you've a favourite voice From Bing to the Vienna Boys Just send a request into Housewive's Choice (beautiful noise) Nearly forty years have passed and still we're in the kitchen singing Put the washing on to spin and get some avacados in And marinade the meat to make it tender And don't forget today you've got to send a rather stroppy letter to the blender mender Pick the boys up after school and drop them at the swimming pool And feed them up to turn them into he-men Do everything but actually be men That's the life you lead if you're a house wife. Help the baby count his toes, untangle all your pantyhose Send your auntie Maud a rose and wash your hands and blow your nose Chop some wood and make a fire, mend a fuse and patch a tyre Join the local ladies choir, find yourself the time to buy a hat, And that's that.
Thanks to Ian Dennis for many corrections to the lyrics. There are some places where Ian and I disagree, so Contact me if you think something still needs changing.
Thanks to GWB, I (nick) was able to track down a copy of the single using GEMM, which I gave to my Mum as a xmas present.
Ironically, only days later, my Dad heard it on Radio 2, and using the precursor to the BBC's iPlayer, I was able to download it, and burn onto CD.
Its odd to have a 12cm CD in a 7" vinyl sleeve, but quite fitting. It mirrors the deliberately scratchy, mono, intro, which gives way to the "modern" stereo sound.
I am over the moon with this news. I really am. They are the lyrics to Housewives choice.
I knew there was someone out there that knew of them let alone have them. I didn't expect,ever, for anyone to answer your question.
I am thrilled to bits.
This is great. Thanks very much indeed GWB, I'm sure my Mum will be pleased too.
OK after further research, I have gathered the following:
BBC records 1982: Julie Covington lyrics by Russell Davis
Darn the socks and wash the clocks and polish up the letter box and ask the doctor come and look at Tommy, It's honestly enough to drive you barmy Especially if your husbands in the army - barmy Feed the cat and beat the mat and write a note to Auntie Pat to thank her very kindly for the mincer She sent it all the ruddy way from Windsor Shame we have a mincer since before the war So who would be a housewife, it's lower than a mouse-wife It's enough to make you run away to sea the world is not my oyster I'm living in a cloister I'm unable to be me
there is a lot more and I will post once transcripted.
Likewise I have been looking for years for this, my search is narrowed to a show called "When Housewives had the Choice" which was hosted by Maureen Lipman in 1982, there was a sung version of the Houswives Choice Theme (In Party Mood) and this was performed by Julie Covington (of "Dont Cry For Me Argentina" fame) I believe that a BBC single of this was released in 1982 as well. My recollections of the lyrics include "Wind the clocks..."
I am trying to trace a copy of the record and if successful will post the lyrics.
We desperately need to know the lyrics to "In Party Mood", which was the theme tune to the BBC's "Housewives' Choice".
The theme tune to "Housewives Choice" didn't have lyrics. Apparently George Elrick added the lyrics later.
I can remember a couple of snippets such as "...help the baby count his toes". My google searches have found nothing - can you do better?