Housewives Choice

Obtaining a Copy of Housewives' Choice

A few people have asked me to make a copy of the music for them. I have a particular interest in copyright law, and so if you think it morally right for this song to be freely copied, then contact your MP, asking him to change copyright law along the lines suggested by The Pirate Party. When copyright law has been suitably reformed (or abolished), then I'll be happy to give out copies to strangers :-)

However, if you like the copyright laws as they stand, then I suggest you look for a 2nd hand copy of the 7" single. I obtained a copy from GEMM. GEMM isn't a shop, it acts as a middle man; getting buyers and sellers together (a bit like e-bay without the bidding).

If you just want to remind yourself of what the tune was like, and perhaps sing along, then shoot over to George Pollens's Web Page, where you can download a midi version of the tune.

Lyrics

Here's the lyrics. Please Contact me if you find any mistakes.

Darn the socks and wash the crocks and polish up the letter box 
And ask the doc to come and look at Tommy, 
It's honestly enough to drive you barmy
'Specially when you husbands in the army - blimey

Feed the cat and beat the mat and write a note to Auntie Pat 
To thank her very kindly for the mincer
She sent it all the ruddy way from Windsor 
Shame we've 'ad a mincer since before the war

So who would be a housewife, it's lower than a mouse life
It's enough to make you run away to sea
The world is not my oyster I'm living in a cloister
I'm unable to be me

Free to put me feet up, and turn the blessed heat up
Well I tell you ladies, that will be the day
The weather's always freezing, I've done my flaming knees in
Putting polish on the parlour parquet

Queue for ages in the street, to try to buy a piece of meat
To give the kids a little treat for dinner
When all I'll probably get from Mr Skinner
Is something like a nasty tin of pilchards, liver

What's the latest fashion look, and where 've I put me ration book
Perhaps I should be rash and cook a pancake
But tea's about the only thing I can make
I'm sure I've drunk enough of the stuff to drop down dead.

  What a relief to turn the wireless on...

... at just after nine,
There's a favourite of mine
It's a beautiful, musical revalry
You can hear the latest fling recorded by Crosby
Or that fairy sugar dancing thing by Tchaikovsky

There's a song about flees
And another called "Trees"
And there's Victor Sylvester and Webster Booth
So now if you've a favourite voice
From Bing to the Vienna Boys
Just send a request into Housewive's Choice (beautiful noise)

  Nearly forty years have passed and still we're in the kitchen singing

Put the washing on to spin and get some avacados in
And marinade the meat to make it tender
And don't forget today you've got to send a
rather stroppy letter to the blender mender

Pick the boys up after school and drop them at the swimming pool
And feed them up to turn them into he-men
Do everything but actually be men
That's the life you lead if you're a house wife.

Help the baby count his toes, untangle all your pantyhose
Send your auntie Maud a rose and wash your hands and blow your nose
Chop some wood and make a fire,
mend a fuse and patch a tyre
Join the local ladies choir,
find yourself the time to buy a hat,
And that's that.

Page History

14-July-2009

Thanks to Ian Dennis for many corrections to the lyrics. There are some places where Ian and I disagree, so Contact me if you think something still needs changing.

31-Dec-2007

Thanks to GWB, I (nick) was able to track down a copy of the single using GEMM, which I gave to my Mum as a xmas present.

Ironically, only days later, my Dad heard it on Radio 2, and using the precursor to the BBC's iPlayer, I was able to download it, and burn onto CD.

Its odd to have a 12cm CD in a 7" vinyl sleeve, but quite fitting. It mirrors the deliberately scratchy, mono, intro, which gives way to the "modern" stereo sound.

6-Oct-2007

I am over the moon with this news. I really am. They are the lyrics to Housewives choice.

I knew there was someone out there that knew of them let alone have them. I didn't expect,ever, for anyone to answer your question.

I am thrilled to bits.

Lilian

05-Oct-2007

This is great. Thanks very much indeed GWB, I'm sure my Mum will be pleased too.

Nick.

17-Sep-2007

OK after further research, I have gathered the following:

BBC records 1982: Julie Covington lyrics by Russell Davis

Darn the socks and wash the clocks and polish up the letter box 
and ask the doctor come and look at Tommy, 
It's honestly enough to drive you barmy
Especially if your husbands in the army - barmy

Feed the cat and beat the mat and write a note to Auntie Pat 
to thank her very kindly for the mincer
She sent it all the ruddy way from Windsor 
Shame we have a mincer since before the war

So who would be a housewife, it's lower than a mouse-wife
It's enough to make you run away to sea
the world is not my oyster I'm living in a cloister
I'm unable to be me

there is a lot more and I will post once transcripted.

14-Aug-2007

Likewise I have been looking for years for this, my search is narrowed to a show called "When Housewives had the Choice" which was hosted by Maureen Lipman in 1982, there was a sung version of the Houswives Choice Theme (In Party Mood) and this was performed by Julie Covington (of "Dont Cry For Me Argentina" fame) I believe that a BBC single of this was released in 1982 as well. My recollections of the lyrics include "Wind the clocks..."

I am trying to trace a copy of the record and if successful will post the lyrics.

GWB...

1-Aug-2006

We desperately need to know the lyrics to "In Party Mood", which was the theme tune to the BBC's "Housewives' Choice".

The theme tune to "Housewives Choice" didn't have lyrics. Apparently George Elrick added the lyrics later.

I can remember a couple of snippets such as "...help the baby count his toes". My google searches have found nothing - can you do better?